which can probably explain my lack of posting. We're currently beginning day +6.
Gracie is almost totally bald at this point. She has a fringe-like dusting of fuzzy hairs left on her head and lots of scalp. The hair has stopped falling out so we can all function now without picking hair off our hands, our clothes, our lips, binkies, pillows, food, and everywhere else is was getting to and driving us all crazy. On the plus side- Gracie has a lovely shaped head and is still as cute as ever. :)
Mothers' Day brought both happy and sad emotions to Mommy. My first Mothers' Day was spent in the hospital for the day, and then Noni took the night shift to allow Mommy and Daddy their first night out together since we were admitted 3 weeks ago. On the downside, I had to leave my reason for celebrating in the hospital for not only my very first Mothers' Day, but also her 10 month birthday. :( Happy 10 months, Little Peanut. We went to a really nice Japanese place in the heart of the city and we enjoyed some yummy food and drinks before searching wildly for a Walmart open past 10 pm on a Sunday night. Haven't they ever heard of SuperWalmart around here??? Sheesh. Then we crashed and woke early the next morning to relieve Noni from what turned out to be the beginning of a rough few days for Gracie.
We have now entered the sick phase. Gracie is hurting. She is very much in pain- she has sores in her mouth and throat, another wicked diaper rash, and is generally very achy these days. We've started her on some pain meds to manage the pain until we get past this point. Hopefully it will only be another few days. We hope to start seeing some improvement around day +9 or +10. Until then, all we can do is make her comfortable which is proving to be a tough job. She started on Morphine until we found that it was making her itch enough to actually scratch herself in the eyeball! Yikes. So now we're on an alternative med and we're currently trying to adjust the dosage to ease her pain. Its a slow and sad process. Poor Gracie is truly uncomfortable, and Mommy and Daddy can barely stand not being able to fix her hurts. God knows we'd do anything we could.
She had a platelet transfusion this morning and you can tell that they have totally dropped because Gracie is very bruised all over her arms and legs. Poor baby.
Anyway, according to the doctor, this is all expected and not out of the ordinary at all. Its funny how that news doesn't comfort me much. :(
Daddy spent last night and will be there again tonight with Gracie in the hospital as he is better equipped to deal with this difficult process than Mommy. This is again one of the many times I am thankful for my husband's clear head and his medical experience. I don't know what I would do without him here right now.
So while this is not a happy update, it is what we're facing right now and we could really use a few extra prayers for Gracie's comfort and healing. Hopefully she'll be back to her happy little self soon. I miss my sweet smiley Peanut so much right now.
XOXO
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14 comments:
I am crying for you Sarah as you have to watch her go through all this. I hope it passes quickly and they can get it all adjusted so she is comfy. So sorry your first mothers day was spent like this, but I am also glad you got to celebrate it. Happy 10 months Gracie! We all think of you all often.
Kelsey and Kaede (and Jeremiah too)
Hope you got my card, didnt know if I wrote the address down right.
Praying for your peanut extra hard this morning..and always!
Poor lil peanut...she is such a brave lil girl...I hope she is feeling a bit better today...sending my love!
I pray for you guys every day. I hate you are having to go through all this tough stuff, but I know Gracie will come out on the other side of it. I hope the next couple of days pass quickly so you can get to the better part of the journey.
Sarah, I feel for you so much, I can only imagine what you're going through. I do know what it's like to see your baby suffering and you're unable to do anything to really help them, except just love them and comfort them. Just knowing you are there will help her understand she is okay. Take it one day at a time (easier said than done, I'm sure). We are all praying for Gracie.
I just don't know what to say. I hurt for you so much right now Sarah.
Gracie is such a strong little girl - a strength she got from her Mommy. Please know that you're in my thoughts daily and every day Nati and I log on to see how her friend Gracie is doing.
Hugs & Kisses from Florida
-Dani & Nati
This is one of those times that no amount of "someone else has been through this too" helps. I remember looking at Lauren and thinking in that there was no way anybody else could have ever felt as helpless as I watched her body fight so hard.
I remember days 8 and 9 being the worst for Lauren, although they were also the quietest because she just wanted to be held and to sleep.
No matter what, remember that this leg of your journey that seems so long right now, will one day soon be so far behind you that you will wonder "How could it have been so long ago?"
Your precious, happy, bouncy girl will be back to you before you know it, full of healthy growing donor cells... and you'll think "How am I ever going to keep up with this one?" as she runs towards the swings at the park just before hooking a left and getting to the slide ladder about 20 seconds before you (giggling at herself for being so fast as to outrun both mommy AND daddy!)... hold onto that. :) It will happen sooner than you can imagine.
"I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
-Casting Crowns
Hey, Hys--
Thank you, especially, for your not-so-chipper posts. When it's all over, these hard days are the parts that the kinder part of memory will try to soften, like childbirth is somehow softened in memory.
But by writing on days like today, you are preserving Gracie's real history like no one else can. Keep it up, we love you, baby!
xo
Aunt Hys
Sarah my heart is aching for you guys right now. Please know that my angel Mimi is watching over your lil' angel Baby Gracie. Please as always kiss that Lil' monk for me.
We love you guys so much.
xo lo
Bless you all as you help your little angel go through this. We're praying for fast growth of cells and immediate pain relief!!!
I'm praying extra hard for Gracie right now. I'm so sorry she is so uncomfortable, that must be incredibly hard for you guys to deal with and see every day. I hope it gets better soon. Happy belated Mother's Day! I'm sorry it was spent like that though. And happy 10 months to Gracie, she's such a tough little cookie. We send you lots of love, hugs, and prayers!
XOXOXO
Amber, Gale, & Maddie
Sarah, you are so brave and strong. It is good, like Hys said to get out the not so good stuff as well as the happy news. Separated only by geography but know that we are there with all of you, in spirit and in love. Sending extra extra peace, love and comfort.
Sarah that is so hard to hear. Hard to imagine, as a mother what that has to be like....to watch her go through. I know in my heart she will come out of this a healthy and strong soon-to-be toddler!! My heart is with you!
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